Career Choices

This topic is slightly off-theme, but it deserves due attention--my job. See, I recently graduated with my Masters degree in creative writing. I know what you're thinking...That's a subject you can MASTER? Yes, haha. Wishing you would've known that a couple years ago, huh? Anywho, I went to 2 more years of school for the subject, willing to put in the time to get better at it; I wanted to enter my field upon graduation and be 100% fit for a writing job.

Well, here I am 6 months later, working as a Claims Payment Assistant at an extended warranty company (my dad's company), reviewing faxed repair orders and calling cashiers at dealerships with credit card payments. Furthest thing from creative writing, I know. I'll be honest, for a while (up until this past month), I was kind of upset with myself, disappointed even, for putting all that time and hard work into writing and then taking "the spoon-fed job" the minute I graduated. While I was only hired on as "a temporary worker" (so that everyone in the office, including myself, would understand that I wasn't sticking around), I tossed that phrase around a lot, thinking, speaking, and acting like I was better than the job and couldn't wait to leave, like I belonged somewhere else--"the writing world." I even went so far as to apply for a job at a publishing company and show up to the interview. But you know what I realized this month? I realized that I don't owe myself, or anyone else, anything. Yes, I love to creatively write and yes, I would love to eventually wind up in "the writing world," but I'm not sorry for being where I am NOW. I am not defined by my job and the work I do. Just because I pay claims all day doesn't mean I don't write. It just means writing is not my job. And just because I have a degree in creative writing doesn't mean I owe it to my degree to be in that field. I don't owe anything to anyone. What's crazy is that the minute I realized this, I realized that I am completely happy at my job. (Get rid of your assumptions and suddenly everything's plain as day...God bless that Buddha man and his late-breaking lessons). I realized that I love the people I work with, I love the people I talk to on the phone every day, and yes, I sometimes love the monotony of checking and double-checking work orders. Most importantly, I get to see my dad and my brother nearly every day. Already I feel like my brother and I are on some new level of friendship we've not been on before. Would we have grown this close had I gotten a job with a publishing company? Of course not! I know not. And that fact alone washes away the regrets.

In retrospect, I can see that I was caught up in the idea that writing IS me, that I AM writing. And because I thought that, I also thought that any job outside of writing was a farce, below me, a waste of time. The thing is, it's actually kind of true that I AM writing: I love to write, I need to write, I consider writing an act of ME-ness. However, the statement that I AM writing is also half false, because that's not ALL I am, and I don't HAVE to be writing to be me. No matter what my 9 to 5 is, I will always be "a writer." What matters is that my 9 to 5 makes me happy. And it does. It really does. I'm just sorry that my thoughts about what I should've, could've, would've done clouded me from seeing it for so long...

I'll end with a crazy coincidence:
While I don't necessarily "believe" my daily horoscope, there are days when I "whoa" after reading it. Today's a fine example: "You have been debating with yourself about whether or not you should go forward and deepen an existing commitment or create a new one. Although you may consider making a clean break, your logical approach allows you to see multiple outcomes to your dilemma. Entertain as many options as you can before choosing one." Like I said--whoa. Dead on.