What You Eat and Who You Are

image from http://cache0.bigcartel.com/

It's FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Who's as pumped as I am for the weekend?! "Pump up the jam! Pump it up! While you're feet are stompin and the jam is pumpin!" Tell me I'm not the only one who owns the "Jock Jams" CD  :-/  Moving on...

So, I know that today is "Food Friday," but I've got no wonderful eats to report (Sad, right?). Granted, I'm counting on some scrumptious things to happen to me Saturday night as A and I and some friends of ours are partaking in Denver's 5280 Restaurant Week (where you can get 2 gourmet meals for just $52.80!). So what if I've already looked at the menu and decided on my meal? But that glorious meal of potato flatbread with caramelized onions and rosemary and penne with rapini pesto, sweet pepper relish and pine nuts (hehe) isn't until tomorrow, so all I've got to contribute today is this food-related quote my friend A recently said to me--"It was nice like 5 o'clock mints." HA! Try popping that dilly into a conversation in place of "awesome" or "great"--that and the fact that my hair smells like bananas today.

Random insertion: There were numerous times yesterday where the people I was calling answered the phone giggling. What's up with that? Thursday must have been a very silly day. Let me in on the joke, please.

Also! I forgot to tell you! Last week was Random Acts of Kindness Week (which, of course, all you kind people knew already), and so for the occasion, I printed out these adorable little picture messages like "Take a look around you" with little birdies plucking worms from the ground and "You are beautiful" written out in flowers and ribbon. I'm telling you, they were the most precious things ever (semi-Valentine-ish, but in the best way possible), and so I secretly set one on each of my female coworkers' desks, thinking I'd anonymously make their days. Welp, as they all started coming back from lunch, I stayed behind my cubicles walls, waiting for questions, reactions, a "WTF?", anything. But you know what I got? NOTHING! Seriously, people?! Come on! Not even a "Look what I got!" or "Isn't this cute?" Kinda hurt about it. Though I guess not hearing anything could be considered a good sign, as it proves I'm exerting responsibility with my "public art" by not offending anyone. And I guess I maintained my secrecy in the process. Though the fact that the notes were anonymous could've creeped them out, huh? Hmph. Either way the experience was a let-down. Any other random acts of kindness I could try out? You know, to get the bitter taste of this one outta my mouth? (exaggeration). You let me know ;)

Lastly but not leastly, I'm again inviting you to read along with me. There's something funny about today's readings though--they're so similarly themed! It's all about who you are and what you do. You read em and then we'll chat!

http://preacher3142.bloghi.com/2010/02/24/what-matters-most-to-god.html

"When the ego dissolved, when I set praise and blame on the same seat, when honor and dishonor and my idea that I was a yogini burned to ashes, when my ears refused to hear either good or bad statements, when my eyes stopped seeing either good or evil sights, then God's blessing arose, vibrating in my mind. The lamp of knowledge was set ablaze, and the inner light burst into flame. But my mind knew only peace."--Lalleshwari

http://www.yesandyes.org/2010/02/note-to-self.html (the "Dear Emotional Creature" excerpt)

What I, personally, walked away with--
*the question What we do is so important to us, but is it important to God?
*Don't put too much weight on definitions. In the entire scheme of things, how you identify yourself isn't so important.
*We all have unfathomable potential, but we stifle that potential when we let others to tell us what we're good and/or bad at. Not to mention, the more we let others tell us what's what, the more we don't actually see what's what for ourselves.
*There is a difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting.

P.S. Is it true that we are what we eat? Well fancy that, come Saturday I'm gonna be one big carbohydrate! What food does that make YOU?

P.P.S. This is my 50th post! Yay for being prolific! (Kind of. Although not really at all. But 50 sounds like a big number, so there).


<3 Happy eating to you, my friends.

Love and Prayer

image from http://paulmayers.blogs.com/

This post is a wee bit whatever-ish in honor of it being Wednesday, though I feel like it hearkens towards some theoretical biznass, too. So, shall we call this is a whatever-ical then? You bet your booty we shall.

I've mentioned this cashier before--Emily, a 50-something year old woman I talk to nearly everyday at work--but I have to mention her again. The last I spoke to her, she told me about the weekend she'd had with her husband. They'd gone to a casino/resort town an hour or so from their home, stayed in this really nice hotel room that looked over the Pacific Ocean, went to a nice dinner, swam in the pool, and, of course, they gambled...which won them $1600! ON PENNY SLOTS! Can you imagine WINNING that quantity of money?! Not earning it, not working 8 hour days for 4 weeks straight, just plain WINNING IT?! Unbelievable. But their $1600 winnings aren't actually the point of my story. The point of my story is that while recounting her weekend to me, Emily spoke about how great the trip was even despite winning the money. She spoke about how much fun her and her husband still have together and how in love they still are (they've been married 35 years). She told me that just the other morning, she left for work before he was out of bed. When she was pulling out of the driveway, he came running out of the house in nothing but his boxers (it was 28 degrees outside). When she rolled down the window to ask him what the hell he was doing, he said, "I didn't get to say I love you. And I want you to know that I'll miss you while you're gone today." Not only that, but she said he often grabs her face in his two hands and tells her, "I adore you." So PRECIOUS, right?! After 35 years, they've still got the romance! What a love story, huh?! Totally reaffirms my belief in the big ol' M word that is marriage. Mmm-mm good that marriage thing is. Clearly. Speaking of which...

As I was listening to Emily tell me these things, I realized something--theirs is a successful marriage because they actively participate in their love--they go on trips together, they cook dinner together, and they make small but special gestures every day. And they're always in the forefronts of each other's minds, as they purposefully direct their attention to each other by thinking of ways to show and share their love. It's not that love takes work exactly, but it does take effort. It takes thoughtfulness and generosity and time. As long as you're thinking about the person you love, you're likely to think about how you might show that person you love them, which will lead you to actually and actively make that loving gesture.

Little did Emily know that the examples of love in her life would come to be a good example of love in mine.


But now for a Daily Dose of Dillies! Inspirational and/or Uplifting Readings

In the Lenten spirit of things, I've been trying to read and pray more. Well, I must say that after just one week, I feel a difference. Though prayer usually feels hokey or corny to me, as I find it silly to talk to God about what He already knows, I've found that it's actually calming, centering, and positive. I love the saying, "You are what you think," and my recent experience has shown me that prayer helps me think good thoughts, which carry over into what I say or do. It's proving to be an all-around good thing for me. Perhaps it'd be good for you too?

Here are the meditations and prayers I've got lined up for today, if you're interested:

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/022310.html

http://preacher3142.bloghi.com/2010/02/20/walking-close-to-god.html

"As soon as you apply yourself to prayer, you will at once feel your senses gather themselves together: they seem like bees which return to the hive and there shut themselves up to work at the making of honey. At the first call of the will, they come back more and more quickly. At last, after countless exercises of this kind, God disposes them to a state of utter rest and of perfect contemplation."--Saint Teresa of Avila

"Let us love God out of gratitude because we owe Him everything--our knowledge of Him and of creatures, all our faculties of mind and body. He deserves our love because He is good, infinitely beautiful and lovable. Abide in my love, He said. Let us therefore love God because He first loved us. Let us consider Our Lord's passion, His sufferings, His love for us in Heaven, always living to intercede for us. Let us love Him in order to make reparation for our own coldness toward Him in the past. Let us love Him because He is the source of all good. He said that if we love Him, His Father will love us and bless us and make His abode in us."--Prayers for a New Day

And lastly, about what to give up for Lent--

Give up complaining. . . . . . . .focus on gratitude.
      (Does this mean no more Terrible Tuesdays?)
Give up pessimism. . . . . . . . . become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments . . .think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry. . . . . . . . . . . . . trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement. . . . .be full of hope.
Give up bitterness. . . . . . . . . . turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred. . . . . . . . . . . . . return good for evil.
Give up negativism . . . . . . . . .be positive.
      ("Think happy, be happy," right?)
Give up anger. . . . . . . . . . . . . .be more patient.
Give up pettiness. . . . . . . . . . .become mature.
      (So no more holding a grudge against my coworker who hates Beringer wine?)
Give up gloom. . . . . . . . . . . . . .enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
      (Like my screensaver picture of my bridesmaids).
Give up jealousy. . . . . . . . . . . .pray for trust.
Give up gossiping. . . . . . . . . . .control your tongue.
Give up sin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . turn to virtue.
Give up giving up. . . . . . . . . . . hang in there!
      (Story of my life. Running attempt 1,000,002!)

<3 So much love to you all.

Alright, friends, it's that time again! It's FOODIE FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Let's talk about our Valentine's Day dinners and delicacies, shall we? Or perhaps our Mardi Gras gorgings? And/or any other fabulous foods we've put in our mouths this past week.

*image from http://www.frontiersoups.com/

I'll begin with the Valentine's dessert I had out at dinner the other night--chocolate soup. Did you catch that? CHOCOLATE SOUP. The waiter had me at, "A decadent and very, very rich dessert." That word--rich. Gets me every time. Though I understand that word has been known to deter people from certain sweets? I don't get it. Anywho, this soup was the creamiest and milkiest chocolatey thing I've ever eaten. And there were strawberry garnishes lining the bowl that were out of this world! I'm telling you, the whole time I was confused about whether I was in aphrodisiac heaven or gastronomical heaven. Either way, the feeling was love.

                                                       *image from http://i.timeinc.net/recipes/

Okay, so I sorta forgot to binge eat on Fat Tuesday. I know, I know, I'm a total cop-out. BUT, I ate something yesterday that reinstills my reputation--a grilled shrimp Vietnamese noodle bowl. Holy crapola, I'm willing to say this is one of my all-time favorite meals. You read right, all-time favorite. The taste of the grill on the shrimp-- a little spicy, a little fiery; a nice pile of lettuce and sprouts and carrots for some crispy freshness; some rice noodles covered in peanut crumbles (I so love peanuts in Asian food); and that sauce! I'm telling you--phenomenal is the word that comes to mind. If I hadn't been in the break room at work, I might've mm-ed and nuh-uh-ed the entire time I was eating it. Yes, it's that good. Do your tummy a favor and eat one.

Those are MY most memorable eats, but what are YOURS?

Also, not so much in a sidenote way as in a FRONT-AND-CENTER-WAY, we're officially in the Lenten season, folks. While I'm giving up some food items to help me get in the spirit of it all, I'm also interested in doing something else--some positive, active, do-gooder-ish type thing. I'll tell you where I'm starting--Operation NICE, a sweet pea of a blogger who posted a similarly sweet article about it being Random Acts of Kindness Week! I think I'll partake and do some randomly nice stuff to kick off Lent. What do you say? You with me? What other fabulously proactive things could we do? I'm all about the ideas, people...

Blah Blah Blog

In lieu of my brother just starting a blog (which is "The Cabinet of My Mind", a poetry blog and one you should make a point to check out), I thought I'd share some thoughts on "writing outlets." With that introduction, here goes:

*image from http://lifeslittletreasures.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/child-blowing-dandelion.jpg

As a temp-job-working and unpracticing writer, I found myself craving an easily accessible writing outlet (meaning somewhere I could write while at work without raising suspicion).

And so I started a blog (that I titled “Farin’ on the West Winds of Erin,” OBVIOUSLY, considering everyone loves a good nautical jab. You do, don't you?).

At first, I imagined I’d get all artsy and whimsy with my posts, writing enlightened pieces about “living the creative life.” But after my first few attempts--talking about Meat Loaf lyrics in corporate spaces and drinking wine instead of cleaning house--I realized that I was sorely misinformed about “my inner artist” (who turned out to be less like Picasso and more like the kid who ate glue in kindergarten).

So I reevaluated my reasons behind blogging. Was I hoping to display my writerly talent to gain respect from my readers? Show off in a sense? Or perhaps I was just wanting to publicize my “quirky” and “eccentric” personality, as my mother describes it (which, as everyone knows, is really just code for “odd” and “not right.” Thanks, Mom). Or maybe I thought that having a blog would help me come across as in-with-the-now and internety high-tech (which, I’m sure, is the actual jargon of the biznass). But as I pondered and scratched my head and then pondered some more, I realized that the real reason for my starting a blog was much simpler than all that. I just wanted to write. I wanted to write whatever, whenever, with no thought about talent or voice or audience. I just wanted a space where I could feel like myself—curious, free, and wilder than the cubicle walls that surround me. Because when I feel most like myself, I’m a creative genius.

And so it’s been, ever since that day of reckoning, that I’ve written excitedly and unabashedly. I look forward to signing into Blogger so that I can talk about how much I hate Tuesdays or what I ate over the course of the week. I get excited to share my feelings on glass jars and Banana Nut Cheerios. Or tell the story of how I puked at a soccer game. Again. It’s having the option to talk about anything that makes me think about everything, which, as it turns out, is pretty inspiring. I’ve thought about a gajillion art projects I want to take on—poster-sized word collages, crocheted doilies, doorknob swags made from toilet paper rolls, and even an Etsy.com shop dedicated to my husband’s photography (okay, so that’s four projects). Point is, I’ve literally self-inspired myself to go beyond the page and get creative in the real world. And all because I started a blog.

Which brings me back to the boardgame Outta Control—

What if we had to do a series of creative "Do cards" throughout the course of a day? For example, “Do write a blog entry about your favorite smell.” Or “Do draw a stick-figure of your friend and give it to him/her.” Or “Do bitch about what a terrible Tuesday you’re having” (I’m telling you, creative or not, we’d all commiserate. Tuesdays are THE WORST).

I honestly think I'm on to something here (this is where you politely nod your head in agreement).

So what do you say, all you writers out there? Shall we get a little outta control?

Wednesday's Whatevs

*image from http://paxarcana.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/mr_magoo.jpg

I know that it's Wednesday and not Tuesday and so because of that, I shouldn't really bitch and moan in typical Terrible Tuesday fashion. However, my absence yesterday was due to Tuesday's terribleness, so the right to vent is mine!

But because it is indeed Wednesday, I feel the need to ward off Terrible Tuesday for just another few minutes. In which case, here's Part 2 of Monday's questionnaire:

8) What is something you wish you could change about yourself, but have not been able to?
I see myself as a relatively confident woman, and I know that I'll make it just fine in this world, but I've never actually believed I could do anything. I know how awful that might read, but let me explain. After graduation, I researched a gajillion and one job postings, read their descriptions and their requirements. And you know what I felt over and over again? Failure. Either I didn't think that I was qualified or I didn't think I could stick with it, it didn't matter--I couldn't think highly enough of myself to apply. I'd like to think I was just being realistic and cutting my losses, but sometimes I wish I wouldn't play it so safely. I wish I believed enough in myself (or dreamed bigger than myself) to actually shoot higher than the reachable star.

9) What is a food you find comforting?
Cereal. BIG TIME. Not only do I love the taste of cereal, but I love it's homey-ness, too. It's totally unfancified and everyday and I've always got it on hand. Reliable happy food :)

10) How do you expel anger or frustration?
Because I'm an open book, there's no reason to pretend I feel differently, so I confront or admit my frustration. "Talk is cheap" or whatever, but it's really the best way I've found to fix a situation. Although cleaning helps too ;)

11) What is one thing you wish to accomplish in the next five years?
I want to open an Etsy.com shop for A's photographs and perhaps some of my word collages and other handmade art. I think having a small, web-based side business would not only keep me busy when A's in the thick of his rotations, but it'd be a creative (and hopefully profitable) outlet, too :) Not to mention, I think it's a good idea to have something like that well under way before we potentially move, so that I'm able to work from home if I have to. I'd also like to take publishing more seriously--submit more work and possibly edit, too.

12) Name one talent you have that people might not be aware of.
Err...umm....well isn't this is a stumper of a question? I suppose I can doodle with the best of em (though I only say so cause A says so). Oh! Oh! I've got it! I can recognize actors/actresses and say what other movies/shows they were in.

13) Name one thing you wish you were good at, but are not.
I wish I were better at cooking :( Though I wanna be optimistic and say I've just not tried hard enough. I also wish I were musically inclined--playing the harmonica is a dream of mine.

14) What can make you laugh, no matter your mood?
A's pouty face. He's absolutely forbidden to teach it to our future children (or Ware-babies as they're more affectionately referred to).

15) Name a movie, book, and song that bring about happy memories.
All of the above? Phew, alrighty then. Here goes:

A movie that brings about happy memories would have to be "Tommy Boy." I've seen it way too many times (because it's riotously hilarious) and always with my favorite people. I miss me my Chris Farley. "Your brain has the sh-shell on it."

A book that brings about happy memories? I'm going with "The Hungry Caterpillar." I remember renting that book from the Grand Lake Public Library over and over and over and over...(isn't it adorable how fat he gets?!)

And lastly, a song--Moxy Fruvous' "King of Spain." I remember the first time my friend A played it for me. We were in high school, heading somewhere in her little champage-colored Honda. I'm sure I had the look of WTF?! written all over my face because this song is so unexpected and silly and totally McGoo (though it's actually good, too, as it's upbeat and catchy). Well, A knew all the words and performed it like a Broadway show. That song and memory still puts a smile on my face in .2 seconds flat. (Yanni, you too, can make me smile).

THE END!

Once again, please participate, mi amigos! Pick a question and post your answer!
(Unless, of course, you'd prefer to save your answer to the favorite comfort foods question till Foodie Friday?)

And now finally, because it just couldn't help butting its ugly head into the conversation--

TERRRRRRRIBLE TUESSSSSDAY! I've got just a couple things to say, the most important being: bad snacks. Who does Tuesday think it is keeping me from bringing more enticing and nutritious delicacies to work? If I have to eat another Slim Fast bar, I dunno what I'll do (except throw that half-eaten, faux-chocolate-something at Tuesday's back maybe).

And also, sending a big WTF?! to all UTIs out there. How dare you, I say. How dare you.

How is your Wednesday shaping up?

Questionnaire a la Erin

*image from http://jeanoram.com/blog/

My friend and fellow blogger Erin recently posted this questionnaire, and because we have the same namesake, I seem to think I have the right to copycat ;)

While my experience with questionnaires tells me they're tedious to fill out and read, I also know that they're a quick way to get to know a person. So, with that said, I hope this questionnaire serves as my introduction (Even though most of you readers know me well already, considering you're years-long friends and family members :) Oh welp). Really quickly though, speaking of introductions, I have to tell you one of my favorites--Sarah Von's from yes and yes: "I want to see the world, save the dolphins and read The New Yorker while wearing cute outfits and eating bon bons. You too? Let's dance." If I were a hilarious person, I would've come up with that myself. But alas, I am not, and so am forced to steal other people's good ideas (yes, I've been there, done that, and am doing it again).

To the questions! (Excuse my inability to be pithy.)

Part 1 of 2:

1) Let's start with something typical: What is your favorite color? Why is it your favorite?
This question is always on questionnaires, isn't it? And though it seems like the easiest one of the bunch--kind of like the warm-up of questionnaires--I always struggle answering it. See, I adore colors. Pretty much all of em. I can't imagine commiting to any one color for fear of letting my other favorite colors down. I mean, I like pink because it's girly and bright and makes me feel those ways, too. But I also like green because it's earthy and happy and just happens to bring out my green eyes. Then there's blue, which is rich like a gemstone. Do you see what I mean? Colors make me happy. They're my friends. (Wow. Shoulda just saved some space and said "Don't have one" eh?)

2) What do you think is your strongest trait?
I'm really thinking it's personability, which is sort of a joke, considering it's not a serious trait. I mean, I don't think that my chatterbugginess will earn me any successes. And yet, I think my ability to talk to anyone is a positive trait. Not only do I like knowing I can work a room by myself (no arm-buddy required here), but it's friendly to chit-chat, polite even. There's no denying that people like it when someone shows interest in them. And because I listen well and ask follow-up questions, I usually learn a lot whilst gabbing--I hear stories I would've otherwise not, I get the scoop on various life experiences that aren't mine, and, of course, the ever-necessary networking comes in to play. I mean, personability opens a lot of doors, so I can't help but see it as my strongest trait--opportunity is only a conversation away :)

3) What is your greatest fear (that is not a phobia)?
I think my greatest fear is a common one--losing a loved one. I've experienced death before--3 of my 4 grandparents have passed away--but I've never lost someone "before their time." Last week, A told me that an old classmate of his lost both her mother and her grandmother to a train crash. Suddenly and with no warning, this 25 year old girl was without 2 loved ones. I cried at the thought of it. I can't even begin to imagine the pain, the confusion, the questions that a tragedy like that makes you ask--How does one fill a hole in a heart? I'm way too attached to the people I love to imagine a life without them, too scared.

4) What do you want most out of life right now?
This has gotta be the cheesiest answer, but what I want right now is to live life to the fullest. I've got an incredible man by my side, I've got a job that affords me time to write/blog, I've got a beautiful home, I live only 20 minutes away from family members, I'm healthy, I live in a beautiful state...I'm telling you, I've got everything at my fingertips! Right now I want to take advantage of my blessings. I want to actively love my husband--support him in his studies, cook for him (something other than breakfast foods), tickle his feet... you know, play house nicely; I want to work hard and take pride in my job, finally start the Rosetta Stone program; I want to give good attention to writing creatively (submit even!); I want to start the arts & crafts projects I've been meaning to (how bout that traveling journal finally getting out in the world?); I want to share our home with visitors--welcome them and make them feel like family; I want to BAKE; I want to see my family as often as I can--have dinner together, go to the cabin; and I want to be healthy and happy--get up off my patootie more often, go outside and run around. This is a time of fullness for me. How dare I not live it up.

5) What other culture most fascinates you?
Funny enough, Erin answered this question Native American, too. Their culture really is so interesting, isn't it? Their connection to and respect for the earth, their knack for storytelling (and writing, too), their spiritual beliefs (kind of like animism, or "the philosophical, religious or spiritual idea that souls or spirits exist not only in humans but also in other animals, plants, rocks, natural phenomena such as thunder, geographic features such as mountains or rivers, or other entities of the natural environment" (Wikipedia)), as well as their spiritual practices, such as dream/meditation tipis and medicine men. They are beings from another age--more interconnected and so better attuned to each other and the world around them. I'd say I've got a lot to learn from them.

6) What is your worst vice?
First thing to pop into my head: wine. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a lush or a boozer, but I do have a thing for wine--an every night, 1-2 glasses, served in pretty crystal thing. Soooo wonderful :) But outside of food and drink, I'd say my worst vice is my tendency to put things on the backburner. I like doing stuff and being productive as much as the next person, but sometimes I have so many things I wanna do that I put off getting them started. Those arts & crafts projects I talked about in question 4? Case in point.

7) What is something about yourself that you would never change, even if it's been known to get you into trouble?
I don't know that I'm SCARY opinionated, but I am someone who speaks her mind. I'm just passionate about a lot of my beliefs and so find it nearly impossible to keep my mouth shut about them. While it'd be less problematic for me to gauge both my audience and venue before baring all, I don't know that I will.


It's your turn, friends! Post your answer to one of the above questions in the comments section! Let me get to know YOU a bit. Pretty please?

"You are a deep spring in me..."

*image from http://farm1.static.flickr.com/

Because it's Food Friday and practically Valentine's Day, too, I'll have you know that I'm gonna eat heart-shaped donuts and cookies all day. Nothing like "the day of love" for a sugar high, huh? Granted, I'm going to soak up all that sugar tonight with some fab food a la The Brown Palace with my A-man. I'll let you know ev.er.y.thing we ate soon enough, I promise ;)

Here's a Pablo Neruda love poem for your Valentine's Day reading pleasure (it's a long one, but oh so worth your time)--

Ode and Burgeonings

I.
The taste of your mouth and the color of your skin,
skin, mouth, fruit of these swift days,
tell me, were they always beside you
through years and journeys and moons and suns
and earth and weeping and rain and joy
or is it only now that
they come from your roots,
only as water brings to the dry earth
burgeoning that it did not know,
or as to the lips of the forgotten jug
the taste of the earth rises in the water?

I don't know, don't tell me, you don't know.
Nobody knows these things.
But bringing all my senses close
to the light of your skin, you disappear,
you melt like the acid
aroma of a fruit
and the heat of a road,
and the smell of corn being stripped,
the honeysuckle of the pure afternoon,
the names of the dusty earth,
the infinite perfume of our country:
magnolia and thicket, blood and flour,
the gallop of horses,
the village's dusty moon,
newborn bread:
ah from your skin everything comes back to my mouth,
comes back to my heart, comes back to my body,
and with you I become again
the earth that you are:
you are deep spring in me:
in you I know again how I am born.

II.
Years of yours that I should have felt
growing near me like clusters
until you had seen how the sun and the earth
had destined you for my hands of stone,
until grape by grape you had made
the wine sing in my veins.
The wind or the horse
swerving were able
to make me pass through your childhood,
you have seen the same sky each day,
the same dark winter mud,
the endless branching of the plum trees
and their dark-purple sweetness.
Only a few miles of night,
the drenched distances
of the country dawn,
a handful of earth separated us, the transparent walls
that we did not cross, so that life,
afterward, could put all
the seas and the earth
between us, and we could come together
in spite of space,
step by step seeking each other,
from one ocean to another,
until I saw that the sky was aflame
and your hair was flying in the light
and you came to my kisses with the fire
of an unchained meteor
and as you melted in my blood,
the sweetness of the wild plum
of our childhood I received in my mouth,
and I clutched you to my breast as
if I were regaining earth and life.

III.
My wild girl,
we have had to regain time
and march backward,
in the distance of our lives, kiss after kiss,
gathering from one place what we gave
without joy, discovering another
the secret road
that gradually brought your feet close to mine,
and so beneath my mouth
you see again the unfulfilled plant
of your life putting out its roots
toward my heart that was waiting for you.
And one by one the nights
between our separated cities
are joined to the night that unites us.
The light of each day,
its flame or its repose,
they deliver to us, taking them from time,
and so our treasure
is disinterred in shadow or light,
and so our kisses kiss life:
all love is enclosed in our love:
all thirst ends in our embrace.
Here we are at last face to face,
we have met,
we have lost nothing.
We have felt each other lip to lip,
we have changed a thousand times
between us death and life,
all that we were bringing
like dead medals
we threw to the bottom of the sea,
all that we learned
was of no use to us:
we beging again,
we end again
death and life.
And here we survive,
pure, with the purity that we created,
broader than the earth that could not lead us astray
eternal as the fire that will burn
as long as life endures.

<3 Erin

P.S. If you're interested in more Pablo Neruda love poems--

Do, Do, Do.

*image from http://unexpectedblessing.files.wordpress.com/

First attempt at Theoretical Thursday--

So, I finished this sweet little book at lunch yesterday--"The Greatest Thing in the World" by Henry Drummond--that's basically an essay discussing the famous Bible passage, 1 Corinthians 13, which means it's all about LOVE--why it's the greatest, why we should make it our life's focus, and how we might put it into practice every day. Well, Drummond's final, parting message, on which he chose to exit, is that love is about doing what the passage from Corinthians says. For, just simply reading the passage without acting on it, implies that Jesus "suggested nothing in all our thoughts, that He inspired nothing in all our lives, that we were not once near enough to Him to be seized with the spell of His compassion for the world." Which reminded me of something Buddha said, "However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on them?"

With that train of thought in my head, I hopped online to read one of my favorite blogs yes and yes. The topic just happened to be "The Art of Doing." (Are you seeing the trend yet?). Ms. Von talked about how to get yourself from just thinking about doing something to actually doing it, and came up with a fabulously helpful list of ways to begin (such as "Write it down, then start mapping your path" and "Tell everyone you know about it.").

Which made me remember my grad school friend's urging me to submit work to her online literary website Linchpin.

Which made me think...and want to read some more blogs so as to dilute my thinking....

Which is how I wound up at the blog of Bianca Noir (who, by the way, came up with, what should be, everyone's new favorite word: "maphaps"). Having just recently visited Maine, she talked about how the people there "do life;" they don't have life "done to them."

It wasn't until this morning though, whilst recollecting yesterday's readings, that I realized I was being spoken to. I mean how many times does a girl have to see the word "do" to catch a hint? So I suppose I should tell the universe that I get it now. Day late, dollar short, whatever, I hear the message loud and clear--Do, do, do (scarily close to doo-doo, but not the same, I assure you).

Which strikes me as an interesting message, considering it comes right after the conversation A and I had recently about our future--when we wanna have kids, what type of residency he's leaning towards, and where we might potentially move in a few years.

Let's just say it was an uncomfortable conversation (for me more than him), for it forced me to consider my life at the moment--that I like our home, that my family is close, how I like working with family members, how I like living in the city because so many various activities and sights are within reach--all of which reenforced the fact that life's good right now.Yet here we were talking about how all those things could be different in a few years--we won't be in this house forever; we probably won't live 20 minutes from my parents; I won't be working at the same company where my dad and brother work; and we might not be a hop, skip, and a jump from a sizeable city.

My worries about the future are simple; they revolve around one thing--change. I think of myself as a flexible and adaptive person, for I've been places and done things that challenged my sense of self from which I've emerged stronger and better. However, I'm old enough now to know what makes me happy--family, friends, activity, and familiarity. And while I know I'll be fine no matter where we wind up, I'm just having trouble readying myself for the changes ahead, fully wrapping my mind around it all, probably because I have this vision of me feeling claustrophobic or trapped,  lonely because I'm limited in what work or activities are available.

But obviously I know my vision is bollocks. As much as I know I'm psyching myself out. All yesterday, the universe was telling me to "do." And like Bianca Noir said, "I can't get stuck in any one place and become stagnant. It's important to surround yourself with people who are motivated, and who set goals, and at the same time concentrate on the present things." That word--stagnant--one of my favorites because it sounds as awful as what it means. And it certainly makes its point. Who would ever wanna be stagnant? I mean, yuck right? I don't want to be one of those homebodies who's afraid to experience something different. I don't wanna limit mine or A's life choices simply because I've been there, done that, and am too lazy to do it again. I wanna do, do, do. Live to the fullest of my ability. Grow. And changes are the best fertilizer.

So Thanks, universe. I needed it told to me straight.

P.S. Who wouldn't wanna jump like that off a cliff? Woot woot! Get em!

Tuesday's Trickeries

* image from http://images.paraorkut.com/

Regarding the newly-initiated "Terrible Tuesday"--

I hate to lambaste a harmless day of the week, but Tuesdays really are terrible, aren't they? They're really no different than Monday (in that the weekend is still depressingly far off), so I mean, why even exist if all you're doing is poaching your identity from another day? Perhaps that was a bit harsh, but clearly I'm confused about Tuesday's importance. Aren't you, too?

Even my sleepy brain knew there was nothing to look forward to today (as it's Tuesday, you see), for it made me hit the snooze button three times this morning. THREE TIMES! If I ever hit the snooze button, it's only once. See, I'm a morning person. Mornings don't bother me. Getting out of bed and ready for the day doesn't bother me. But Tuesdays...well now, that's a different story. Everything changes when it's Terrible Tuesday...for the worst.

My coffee wouldn't stay hot, as Tuesday wouldn't allow my brain to understand the tricky operations of my 1-switch electric hot plate. I forgot to bring my vitamins to work because Tuesday cast a forgetful stupor over me. My banana was too brown to eat, no doubt because Tuesday got to work before me and tossed it around a bit (that banana-beater, Tuesday). And it's only 10AM! Fact is, Tuesday's got it in for me, and because my mind and body are wrecked from Tuesday's antics, I'm not gonna do anything about it but bitch and moan (which is really kinda fun now that I'm on a roll...)

Would you care to join??? I say we show this Tuesday character what it's got coming to it--us having fun at its expense. Mwahahaha.

P.S. Because Tuesday is terrible, here's a link to make you feel anything BUT...
http://youareremarkable.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/stars/

Foodie Friday!

Okay, so I just came from lunch where I finished myself off with two Hershey's Kisses. I must say, I feel phenomenal. Seriously, I'm kind of in love with the little guys--their shiny wrappers, their white tags that wave at me, saying, "Allo. We dunno why we've got English accents, but we do. Ah well, eat us up! Cheerio!" They really are drops of happiness.

But moving on from chocolate (not saying I won't be back), how about the other gut-tastic foods I ate this week! Egg scrambles! Oh my gosh, I seriously think my husband makes the best dern scrambles (yes, I said "dern"). Go chop yourself some potatoes, then throw em into an oil-greased fry pan whereupon you add Lowry's, garlic salt, and multiple Tabasco sauces. Once those are nearly tender throughout, throw in some broccoli and some chopped onion. Wait for the broccoli to tenderize before you add the eggs. Once the eggs are cooked throughout and not gooey, top with cheese, some salsa, and spinach! Like I said, oh. my. gosh. I totally just came from lunch and would eat again if a scramble were in the break room. And this dish is healthy, too! You really can't feel bad about eating eggs and veggies...

Holy crap, I never told you guys about The Palm's chocolate cake (I warned you I'd be back to chocolate). This piece of cake is, no joke, probably three to four pounds heavy. Yes, you read right--PIECE of cake. It's about ten layers (though thin) tall, each layer of chocolate cake separated by fudgey frosting. And the top of the cake has these little brownie bite things which are also covered in fudgey frosting. I tell you what, it's heart-attack good. Like I have trouble not "What-About-Bob"-ing it as I write. And it lasted A and I three days afterward! That's eight desserts, people! Granted, it cost what eight desserts should, so...you know...No matter the bill though, this cake is worth every mmm and oooo and yummy. (Granted, jury's still out if it's worth every pound you pack on afterward).

Alright, that's enough of my piggy-ness.

How bout we talk about this great idea I had (and yes, this one's really my idea). So, I was looking at my To Do list today and randomly thought about this old boardgame called "Outta Control"...

While I could really go off on how much I ADORED that game, I'll stick to my point (what a rarity, I know). Before someone could roll the dice, he/she had to perform a series of "Do cards." A "Do card" might say something like, "Do say your favorite ice cream flavor" or "Do put your finger to your nose." And I mean, oftentimes there were five or six "Do cards" that you had to perform in a row. Any given turn, someone might stand up, spin around ten times, shout their middle name, and then sit back down to roll the dice with their lips. I mean, this game was ridiculous. And SO MUCH FUN. Well, so I got to thinking...what if we had to do a series of "Do cards" before we started our day? And while I love blowing spit bubbles as much as the next person, what if the "Do cards" were a little more meaningful (though still silly, cause I mean, c'mon...silliness rules)? For example, "Do make a funny face." Or "Do say Good Morning to God." Or "Do guess the day's weather forecast." Or "Do kiss your bed-buddy on the eyelids." I honestly think I'm on to something here. "Outta Control" used to be just that--outta control. So I only foresee good things coming from this :)

Much luck on all your "Do"-ings.
Have a good weekend, friends.

By Golly, I've Got It!

*image from http://www.kidology.org/

So I may or may not have poached an idea from a fellow blogger. This very wise female writer has set up each day of the week with a rough theme or topic (No, not rough as in "rough and ready," but rough as in semi-related or vaguely-associated-with). For example: "Fitness Friday" or "What the Hell? Wednesday." I think I might give this format a try. You know...for shits and giggles. What do you think, Readers, about the following themes?

Mull Over Monday: We'll talk about everything we did over the weekend! That should make our Monday more manageable, eh? "Manageable Monday!"

Terrible Tuesday: We'll bitch and moan, obviously, because Tuesdays are terrrrrriiiiibbbbble. The worst.

Whatever Wednesday: We'll talk about anything and everything, because sometimes a girl's just gotta have the space to blab. Am I right or am I right?

Theoretical Thursday: This may sound down and drab, but really, we're all smart people who could handle a theoretical/heady conversation once a week ("theoretical" being subjective, that is).

Foodie Friday: We'll all talk about the fabulous (or not so fabulous) foods/drinks we inhaled during the course of the week! You know, kinda like that girl in the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" who calls her boyfriend to tell him everything she ate that day...well, kinda like that.

Considering this brilliant idear just came to me TODAY, let's leave the Theoretical Thursday till next week, shall we? And let me know your feelings on the above format. Is it a go? A no-go? Would you participate in said themes? Or do you have better suggestions? Pray tell, for I clearly have no problem stealing other people's bright ideas.

Pack-o-Mallards

*image from http://www.laketemplene.org/

Do you know that I saw about fifty Mallard ducks this weekend? To be honest, there might've been sixty of the green-headed, webbed-footed little guys. A regular Mallard-fest, I tell you! And all of them shacked up at this little pond that's got a running waterfall! Whoa to nature, right? Well, not exactly. See, though an unfrozen bath is hard to come by during Coloradan winter-times, I knew there was more than meets the eye to this brood of ducks. So here's how it went down. While out jogging this past weekend, having just rounded a corner, I saw all these Mallards crowding around and flitting about, squawking (which I had to look up the spelling of, mind you) their little green heads off, right? Well, I kinda slowed down (as if I could possibly run at a slower pace and not be walking) to check out the scene a little better, cause I mean, never have I ever seen that many ducks in one sitting! So I slow down enough to see this old man right smack dab in the middle of all the commotion. He's got this large plastic bag in his hand from which he's throwing out chunk of bread after chunk of bread. Well, if that's not the quickest way to make friends! Breaking bread with them! Jesus taught him that, I said to myself (well, not right then, but later when I thought of it and realized how genius it was). It was then, watching somewhere between fifty and sixty Mallards swarm one little old man, that I put two and two together. It's not the above-freezing temperature of the water that kept them here through winter, or the pond's location really (as we're talking about the middle of Aurora), but rather it's the pond's human-visitor that keeps the duckies put. Can I blame the old man for keeping the birds here past their fly-South date? Well, no, cause I'd probably have done the same thing had I been carrying a bag-o-bread on my run. But also no because I could tell those colorful-feathered noise-boxes were the old man's friends...and he was their friend, too. (Hell, if someone was feeding YOU bread everyday, wouldn't YOU stick around?). The important thing is, I saw something beautiful, and had I not gotten my lazy butt outside, I might not have seen it. (Although there is also another, slightly less important, point--sourdough bread wins hearts...including mine. I very well may have to fight a birdie or two for a taste next time).

What's something beautiful you've seen outside recently?