So, I've been going through a "spiritual crisis" (for lack of better words) for some time now, though I've been unwilling to talk about it, much less write about it. But I think the time has come. As Nat the Fat Rat says, "A thought needs to be aired out loud in order to be set loose, to become real and have its own life, skipping ahead of [us] and becoming plans..." And so here I am letting my "spiritual crisis" become real...
But the facts of the matter are:
1) I've not been going to church. While it's a terrible thing to say, I've begun to see church as an inconvenience. While I've not felt something grand at Mass in awhile, that's not necessarily the reason I drifted away. I recently moved to the other side of town and so am too far away from my old parish, yet am too and lazy shy to find a new, nearby parish. Cheap excuses, no?
2) I don't volunteer anymore. I'm too selfish and lazy to donate my time. I seem to think a 9-to-5 job leaves me no spare time, but that's not true now, is it? There are nursing homes, food banks, day cares, and all sorts of other volunteer havens right in my backyard. There is NO excuse for my not reaching out.
3) I'm not even praying everyday. But what hurts my feelings most about not praying is the reason why I'm not--because I don't even think about it; it doesn't cross my mind. As if I don't have plenty to be thankful for! I'm the most blessed that I've ever been! I've got more love in my life than my heart can hold! I'm spilling over with love! And there are plenty of people in my life who need prayers! All these reasons to pray and I'm maintaining my distance...
I so want to blame how I'm feeling on the fact that I'm Catholic (after 16 years of Catholic schooling, I've got GUILT bred into me, folks), and yet I'm sure that's not it (though I DO have issues with some of the Church's more outdated thinkings, but I'll keep those to myself). I've just fallen away and can't seem to get back again. It's like I'm waiting for a spark to ignite a spiritual change in myself, but waiting won't stoke the fire. I need a fire placed directly under my butt is what I need! Anyone with some fiery advice on how to get myself back to square G-O-D? (I know, corny, but aren't all God talks at least a little touchy-feely? I saw the opportunity for corn and had to take it). Or anyone willing to physically kick me in the rear-end? Don't run over each other trying to get to me first ;)
Daily Dose of Dillies: Glass Jars.
I was a tough sell on these at first, but because A is a big proponent of using glass jars for ev-er-y-thing (taking his coffee to school, storing leftovers, storing cold cereal, as water glasses, etc), I knew I'd have to get used to them one way or another. And you know what? 2 years later, I think I've finally seen the light. Just this morning I brought my home-brewed coffee to work in a glass jar and all day I felt practical (like this jar could be used for any number of different things, one of which being its cup ability. Only multi-use items for me!) and alternative (like a student back at Naropa University who's got different ways of doing everything, those ways being earthly and environmentally conscious) and surprisingly down-home (like I'm a housewife out in some rural area without nice china or even a coffee mug and so use jars because, well, I don't care about that fancy and frill business). Not to mention, A put most of our cold cereals in glass jars to make more space in our cupboards. How much do I love opening that cabinet and seeing stacked jars full of variously shaped and colored cereals! And, to be honest, it's easier to pour cereal out of a jar than a box; there's no fussing with that plastic bag that never rips like you want it to, no losing bits of cereal between the bag and the box. And you can see when your Mighty Bites are getting low and need replenishing! And anything that keeps me from running out of my Mighty Bites is a friend of mine :)
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